failing,loosing grip n trashing off

dis is d fuckiest day of my life...im so down nw...im so...i duno hw 2 describe my feelings...its all in 1...all i noe is dat im going 2 fail 1 or 2 of my papers...FCUK!!!shit shit shit!!!i duno hw im going 2 handle all of dis broken dreams,hopes n all i hve 4 myself...im saying gudbyes 2 all of dat...i feel im useless...

i cried all day long in my sleep,during my shower,between my laughing tymes wif my frens n even now...dis is harder den a broken heart...it even hurt more den putus chenta...im fallin hard...im numb...i never feel dis down b4...i never cry dis hard after my late aunt left us...yeah...dis is d second tyme i cried really2 hard in my life...sakit bha dlm hati...sakit sgt2...

ada oso me terfikir...i work really hard...i attended all of classes,i did all my assignments n all of my tests tapi mcmna dis???study till dawn...tapi mcm x da pulangan ja...sia2 me baca n study hard...wht did i get???i got nothning...its better if i just sleep all along cuz org yg x study pn mcm ok ja...skrg sy menangis dlm hati n menangis dpn2 my frens n my family...

im sorry if i let my family,my love ones n my frens down...im sorry i broke my promises saying will study hard n work all my best...im so so sorry guys...sorry...cuz i cant make it...ive tried my best in my contract n my consti...im so sorry...eventho u guys said its okay n all bt i noe i hurt u guys more den enough...its just slipping away...all dos hopes r gone already...im just...i duno...